My Skin
by PureHearts
Summary: "Take a look at my body. Look at my hands. There is so much here I don't understand..." There is nothing left. Nothing at all. And so I will do the unthinkable. I will commit this sin. Because I want to fall. Songfic. Read and Review.


**Disclaimer: I don't own KWMS, and neither do I own the song- "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant. **

**My Skin**

There is a painful quietness in one's life, where in a moment suspended in time, you realize that all is worth nothing. That you have nothing. Nothing but the skin on your bones, and the tears in your eyes. But even that has been taken from you. And you are left with nothing…

Nothing…

Dust to dust…

And ashes to ashes…

_Take a look at my body  
Look at my hands  
There's so much here that I don't understand  
Your face-saving promises  
Whispered like prayers  
I don't need them  
_

Dancing and dancing. Laughing and laughing. But no one can see the tears behind your mask. No one sees the tears behind your face. You smile and you laugh. You dance and you run. But in your heart, you're just tired. You're so very…tired. Of everything. It takes so much to stand. It takes so much to stay…alive.

And so you do nothing. But cry. Not out loud. Inside. You're scared. You're in pain. No one will care.

And they hold you down. You can scream and struggle, but you can't escape. You are trapped.

_Because I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable_

You walk through your life. A dream. Unbearable. A wisp of light shuddering through your life, and you can't help but want to reach out. But surely if you do, you will alter the numb calm that you keep with you. You can cry. You can break. You can shatter. But you must never fall.

_Well, content loves the silence  
It thrives in the dark  
With fine winding tendrils  
That strangle the heart  
They say that promises sweeten the blow  
But I don't need them, no  
I don't need them_

You do not complain. You shoulder your own pain. Because only those people who do not complain have the right to do so. Because you do not have that right. Because you are filthy. Because you are wrong. You are disjointed and ugly. You are nothing but ashes and smoke. You are nothing. Nothing to this world.

_I've been treated so wrong_

_I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable  
I'm the slow dying flower  
In the frost killing hour  
Sweet turning sour and  
untouchable  
_

"Misaki."

"Ayuzawa-san!"

"Kaichou!"

"Ayuzawa."

"Misa-chan!"

"Ayuzawa-kun."

"Misa!"

"Misaki-chan!"

"Demon!"

"Bully!"

"Monster!"

You can hear the sounds of another's life. Please do not call my name. Because I am tired. I am weak. I am not the person you all believed me to be. I am not as strong as you think I am. I am not beautiful. I am not strong.

I am weak.

I am human.

I am me.

Pathetic. Poor. Broken. Shattered. Pained.

I am not who you think I am. I am not who you believed me to be.

_Oh, I need the darkness  
The sweetness  
The sadness  
The weakness  
Oh, I need this  
I need a lullaby  
A kiss good night  
Angel sweet love of my life  
Oh, I need this  
_

Love me. Care about me. See me. Do not ignore me. Do not see through me. I exist. I am here. I am alive. I am more than just the mask that you see. I am more than just the actor you believe me to be. I am more than that. So…see me. Care for me. Love me.

_Well is it dark enough  
Can you see me  
Do you want me  
Can you reach me  
Oh, I'm leaving  
You better shut your mouth  
And hold your breath  
And kiss me now  
And catch your death  
Oh, I mean this_

But you don't. You don't see me. I can't find myself. I am lost in the sea of nothing. Because it is easier to run, than to face myself. The person I have become. And I will run forever. Until I can run no longer. And then, when the day comes for me to reveal my true self, that is the day I will surely die. And that is the day, I will cry.

_I'm the slow dying flower  
In the frost killing hour  
Sweet turning sour and  
untouchable  
Do you remember the way that you touched me before  
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored  
Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers  
I don't need them  
_

So forgive me. Mother. Sister. Sakura. Shizuko. Honoka. Erika. Satsuki. Hinata. Yukimura.

Takumi.

I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't resist. I want to fall. I want to break. I want to become nothing. Because I can escape. I can run. I can hide.

So forgive me when you find the cuts on my body. Forgive me when you see the gashes on me. Forgive me when I fall down and cry. Forgive me for the sin I have done. Forgive me…and love me. Because I loved you all too.

_Oh, I need the darkness  
The sweetness  
The sadness  
The weakness  
Oh, I need this  
I need a lullaby  
A kiss good night  
Angel sweet love of my life  
Oh, I need this_

There is a painful quietness in one's life, where in a moment suspended in time, you realize that all is worth nothing. That you have nothing.

Nothing at all…

* * *

**A/N: People who are strong are also human. They need a time to cry, a time to be weak. They need time to fail, time to be shaken. They need shoulders to lean on.  
Help others. Do the right thing by them. Love them. Be kind to them. Talk to them. Smile at them. Show that you care. Because it's the smallest things that can make a difference. The price to pay for the lack of a smile is too great. The world will never be the same again.  
The song is "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant. Link to song on my profile.  
I know this is a very depressing story. But I think it's worthwhile if I can get the message out there. Care for the people around you, because they too, are so, very, human. **


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